…as opposed to this irritating schmuck.
Would your life be better without children? Corinne Maier says yes in her new book, which has scandalised the parents of France. She explains her reasons
I’m on my way to Nîmes to interview Corinne Maier, who has written a book called No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children.The book is surprisingly funny and is making me smile as I read it in the departure lounge at Luton Airport, surrounded by a good many badly behaved, tiresome examples of why this outspoken French writer might be on to something.
“Open your eyes,” she tells French women. “Your children will be baby-losers, destined for unemployment, insecure or low-grade work . . . They will have a life even less rigol-ote (fun) than yours, and that’s saying something. No, your marvellous babies have no future, as every baby born in a developed country is an ecological disaster for the whole planet.”
I’m only a few pages in and already I’ve clocked that this is war – war with Europe’s most fecund country, which last year had a higher birthrate than any of its neighbours – an announcement greeted like a sporting triumph by the country’s media.
“Why was this a victory?” asks Maier. “Perhaps because it is the only thing France has left to mount on a podium.” There’s no doubt about it. Maier, whose book has been at the top of the French bestseller lists all summer, is on a crusade to puncture France’s love affair with b�b�.
“Children are there to stop you enjoying yourself. It’s a child’s hidden face. Believe me, he will be very inventive in this area. He will be ill when you (finally) arrange a night out, he will bug you when you celebrate your birthday with your friends, he will hate it if you bring someone he’s never met back for the night, and beyond that you won’t dare tread for fear of traumatising him for life.” She goes on to list the things you will almost certainly have to give up after having children. They include: a full night’s sleep, a lie-in, deciding to go to the cinema on the spur of the moment, staying out later than midnight (babysitters have to be relieved), visiting a museum or exhibition (children start mucking about after five mintues), taking your holiday anywhere other than destinations where there is a beach and a kids’ club, taking a holiday during term-time and smoking in front of your children, now deemed a “crime against humanity”.
more (including a list of 20 of the reasons if you can stomach this tripe)…